People often asked me if I believe that men and women are different when it comes to collaborating… if they have different motivating factors, are seeking different types of rewards and are bringing different skills to a partnership. I believe that we approach collaboration somewhat differently and that a mixed team adds tremendous value to an opportunity, challenge, or outcome. I was curious to test my own opinions on the subject so I decided to ask other professionals a series of questions. While professionals have different opinions based on their own experiences – one thread is common throughout: “Learning to be a good collaborator in the workplace is more important now than ever before and both men and women have to get better at it”.
I have to agree with that. I’ve spent the last 20 years working in sales, marketing and alliance management for industry leaders in the consulting and high tech industries. I attribute my success to my ability and willingness to develop, foster and nurture relationships with my team, colleagues, customers, executives and partners, even competitors. More than ever before, in our inter-connected world, individuals and corporations need to become much better at collaborating.
Why Is Collaboration more relevant now than ever? For more on the subject, please read my previous posts: Is Collaboration the New Workplace and Business Model? https://www.francineallaire.com/2011/03/is-collaboration-the-new-workplace-and-business-model/ , and The Human Element, The Key to a Successful Partnership https://www.francineallaire.com/2011/09/the-human-element-the-key-to-a-successful-partnership/
Here are the questions and answers from professionals just like you –
Collaboration Style
Do men and women collaborate differently?
– Women are more relationship oriented, nurturing, and concerned about the welfare of the group. Men are more competitive, and fact/results oriented, with less focus on nurturing others.
– Men may collaborate more now but it is more on a “task driven” basis while women tend to leverage “relationship-based” collaboration to get the work done.
– If there is a difference, I have not seen it. My collaborative efforts are all within mixed groups, and the personality traits that come across are the same ones than you would see in a conference room full of type A people.
– Women are much more verbal and need to connect on a personal level before they are comfortable jumping in on a project together.
– Men have a more hierarchical approach and women brainstorm more equally, without regard to position.
– Women are much more relationship driven. They like to connect not just sell.
– Yes. To women, the major cause of stress lies in relational issues. To men, the major cause lies in prestative issues. Therefore, women by nature tend to have a greater interest in relationships.
– Absolutely. We believe in a partnership model versus competitive model. I also believe that we like to mentor when it comes to team approaches and employee motivation.
– I do not see a difference in how men/women collaborate. My observation is that men are more likely to be direct and more likely to be competitive (as opposed to collaborative). However, this is somewhat generational. I do not see as much of this in the millennial generation.
– Women appear to be more open.
– My experience as a VP has been that women try to build consensus while men try to own the outcome. Women want the team to succeed and men often (not always) want to be viewed as being “in charge.”
– Yes – in my experience, women are more comfortable with collective wins – men, by their nature, are more oriented towards “I win when you lose.
– The net: Collaboration can be taught regardless of gender
Do women tend to build or seek out different types of alliances, than men do?
– I think they do. It would make sense to make alliances to fit different needs. Alliances are not only alive the business world, they’re a part of our personal world too.
– I think that many women operate in multiple-streams of relationships. Their many “roles” put them in contact with different groups (family, school, community, workplace).
– I am building professional relationship alliances, seeking out complementary business professionals with whom I can have valuable interaction, leading to increased business for them and for me. I doubt very much that there is a difference between the sexes in that regard.
– I think women try to foster friendships in the workplace more than men do.
– Women tend to look at forming long-term relationships rather than one-off.
– I think we do in that we focus on how we can grow with the individuals in the alliance versus how can they support me now.
– Women excel inside of warm comfortable relationships.
– Women tend to gather support by sampling their idea with several team members before presenting it to the larger group. Women lobby for their ideas, welcome input, adjust and re-lobby.
– Interpersonal relationships have traditionally been easier for women wherein they confide – men hang out and don’t confide as much – but these are stereotypes and thus I don’t subscribe to them.
Building Powerful Connections and Relationships
What, if anything, could female executives do to uniquely build more powerful connections and relationships in a workplace still often dominated by men?
– Join ranks to establish corporate (group) power! The power of many is often greater than the power of one, although there are powerful individuals. But ultimately, they’re supported by many…that help them make their public/business/political mark.
– Think that Boomer female executives would benefit from building relationships with Gen X and Gen Y men and women, as well as strengthening their peer relationships, personally and professionally.
– I have seen a number of my business acquaintances hold on to connections that are clearly not fruitful for their business. Too nice? I hate to recommend hardening yourself, but may there needs to be a more discriminatory aspect to the types of relationship a female executive holds on to – or abandons.
– Part of the connections that form high level business have to do with belonging to the right clubs and playing the right sports.
– Keep relationships professional; minimize emotional responses. Just do the job.
– Don’t worry about competition, stop trying to be men, use their skills as women and mentor others.
– To be themselves. It is the only real way of building real relationships that will eventually work.
– Awesome question! I work in an industry where men represent more than 75% of the employee population. I still firmly believe that we should focus on partnering versus competing. I love being a woman and wouldn’t want to approach the connections by trying to be a man. Also, I don’t believe that I need to “prove” myself, but just be. To foster relationships, stop complaining about how hard it is and focus on the incremental changes you can make.
– Women need to get over their inferiority complex for starters. Some older male workers still harbor some sexism in their thinking; but this is the rare exception. Women who are competent are viewed as seriously as their male counterparts.
– Genuinely be themselves without pretense.
– Women could actively seek to observe and note the working styles of those men in parallel or higher level positions and honor those rather than be frustrated by them. Understanding a potential mentor or advocates own workplace style and approaching them in that way could be useful.
– Associations, networking, mentoring.
Are both men and women missing out on obvious opportunities to leverage perhaps different skill sets when it comes to collaborating?
– Too often they create silos by surrounding themselves with those they believe have the most affinity with their agenda, rather than valuing differences and truly listening with an open mind to opposing/challenging views.
– Definitely. The current view is that management should be collaborative. Women are just set up better to create consensus and men could learn better communication skills from them. Conversely, women need to learn to be more terse and roll with the punches.
– Yes, we focus on our differences as an issue instead of embracing them. I think women should take on the opportunity to use their partnership model in moving forward the company’s agenda.
– Depends on the executive.
– Yes. A male/female combination of confident and forward moving action and intuitive problem solving would be ideal.
Which questions would you like to ask? Which answers do you relate to the most? I’d like to invite you to keep the conversation going by sharing your thoughts, ideas and input. Please chime in.
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